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I bought a bookmark from Cameron. It says:

3 grand essentials to happiness in this life are:
something to do
someone to love
something to hope for

I've been thinking about this lately. Everything I glanced at the bookmark, which I usually do when I did my novel reading in toilet, I tried to think of making this my guidance to happiness. Since I left the life I used to lead, I left the happiness behind me as well. I used to have something to do: studying medicine ; someone to love: my ex-girlfriend who I can see her in lectures everytime; and something to hope for: I'll become an excellent doctor one day ...everything in the past, though not perfect, is enough for me to look forward to live on my life. But, right now, everything just gone. Everything just was snatched, grabbed from my life. Now, stranded in a new life, I have nothing. I even hesitate of calling my existance as "life".

What I'm up to recently? Well, I just got a bunch of series in my HDD from a friend, an aquintance I meet in hospital when I was diagnosed madness, which include a series that I've been longing to watch long time ago -- Alias. A JJ Abrahm's production which make it definitely worth watching. And yes, I spend most of my time watching it on my laptop. It's really a cool series. But, anyway, whenever I'm having a pause from the marathon, I feel empty. As if I'm deceiving myself of feeling the meaning of life in the world of espionage in the story...and in real life, I'm just empty.

I got reply from my courses application already. I got marine science, a course that I'm not sure whether my interest lies. I'm just lost...

蓝蓝的情绪

此刻，我一面听着《Benjamin Button》的原声带，一面写下这篇部落格。
前几天，有几次想写下我的心情，却没有那种打开这一面 create post 的勇气。
因为我知道，一旦我开始写，整个人就会被情绪控制
-- 我本来就是个不懂控制情绪的疯子，一个被世界遗弃的疯子。

《Benjamin Button》的音乐真的有够忧郁的。
再加上我今天又上网重读了《第一次亲密接触》。
所以，一整天的情绪都是蓝蓝的...

听着音乐，我想起了这一生渡过的20年...

人，之所以存在，是因为有着过去的记忆。
过去发生的一切，将是人生的全译，生命的证明。
我的20年人生突然和我现在的这一刻完全画不上关系...
当所有的努力换来的东西一瞬间化成乌有...我不懂怎么接受。
就像鱼离开了水，不懂得怎么呼吸。
只觉得死亡好接近，好接近...接近死亡的感觉是这样的吗？

我的心还跳着，我还呼吸着，我还思考着...
但，没有了过去的一切，我还能算是个人吗？
我还活着，但我是一什么样的形式、什么样的物体，正在活着呢？
命运把我从我的生命拉出来，又不让死亡带我走...这种感觉谁能够体会呢？

几天前，我已收到被大学录取的电话。
心理学和海洋学都接受我。
但我毅然放弃了心理学，选择海洋。
到底是为什么，我自己也不知道...
可能就是我曾经在一篇部落格说过我想永远投入大海的怀抱吧...
我已放弃了与人争斗的生活方式。
我一早已经输得彻底了 -- 命运总不能再打败一个认输的人吧？
这是Osho教我的。

我这一生唯一的心愿，
就是遇上我能够厮守终老的人，
然后在海边有着自己小小的一间家，
最后的，生命的最后一刻，
就是有我爱的人陪着，看着日落，慢慢闭上眼睛，慢慢死去。

我的生命又太多的遗憾，太多太多的遗憾...
我已不能再承受下去的遗憾...
当遗憾成为我生命的全部...我不再是我自己，而我只是遗憾...

乱写了这些，我不懂自己在写些什么。
不用管时间是几点，每天照自己的情绪过日子...我希望自己可以那样做。

我到底在乱写些什么啊？
哎~都是音乐的错。

只是，蓝蓝的情绪，不适合用文字来表达...

State of Play

"State of Play" is a political thriller, and just merely a political thriller -- nothing more. It fulfills all elements of its genre: a little murder case linking to a larger political plot and finally a twist at the end of the story. It's completely a typical kind of thriller you can expect, which mean you can predict the story as well.

The cast is the only thing that makes this movie being higlighted -- Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck. If not for the cast, the whole movie is nothing to look into. Russell is definitely a good actor in no matter what role he plays, including this one as a street-smart journalist. Meanwhile, Ben plays his part as a congressman -- which you may doubt at the begining why the producer put him on such unexpandable role. The doubt will be answered at the end of the story, 'cause he did play a big part on the twist of whole thing. It's always been a nice and enjoyable thing to watch two big stars in one screne.

As it's a political thriller, which I just found out that it's an adaption from a Brittish series, it has the dark tone that is liked by people who like thriller, and felt bored by people who can't appreciate thriller. You must understand that true thrillers are more tend to be an art-kind of film, rather than a commercial one. Speaking of art, this story is welly penned, despite the fact that people who are familiar with thriller story can easily predict it. Conversations play the most important part in thrillers, and this movie make those talkings easily followed and so do the story.

At the end, it's hard to say whether this movie is worth to watch. It depends on whether you like this kind of political genre movie or not. It requires a certain understanding about American politics and ability to adapt to the fast-paced conversations in the movie. What I can say is that it's definitely enjoyable to watch the two stars in it.

CAST - 4.5 stars
STORY - 3.5 stars
CINEMATOGRAPHY - 3.0 stars
EFFECTS - 3.0 stars
an overall>> 3.5 stars

Film that dragged me to hell

First of all, I would like to say that "Drag Me To Hell" is hell of a movie. I never expected it to stand out among other summer blockbusters, but yet, I have to admit that it's a must-watch movie for those who wish to complete thier summer list of movies. The trailer appeares to be gross and disgusting. But if you though that it's some sort oenvironment f disgusting ghost story, you were wrong. In fact, it's a very good ghost story after the dissapointment from "The Uninvited".

The main element that makes this movie a good one is the it successfully created -- the feeling of being near to hell. "I curse you to hell" are words of anger which we are not strange with. However, this movie makes those few words really mean something horrible and I mean freakingly horrible to the extend that you might never though how its implication can be coming out from an old lady. Throughout the whole movie, you wouldn't see any single clear image about the main evil in the story -- Lamia. You can at most see his shadow and feel he is there, which is already freaking enough. Honestly, it makes me feel like back in time when I watched "The Exorcist" which used the same concept that you can't see, but you do feel.

The story-line is almost as how its trailer indicated -- a young lady pissed off an old lady and got herself cursed and had some really bad time. It's kinda a fresh idea since we are getting bored about stories where there are always ghosts that haunt people for silly reasons. In this story, it sounds a little different as there's an evil spirit called Lamia that is summoned to drag the main character into hell. And unlike other ghosts, this one is really evil and nasty. How scary is Lamia? You have to watch it yourself. By the way, there are some holes in the story which I'm not really convinced with, but you can ignore them as the story goes on. And ya, there's a twist at the end of the movie which can be kinda expected.

The special effects in this story is up to the level of beyond your mind can take. There are many really disgusting scenes in the movie and thanks that they survived under those authority. In addition to some wind hitting against window kind of scenes, others are really creative and in good timing to freak you out. Take this example, a heavy object falls on a lady ... and the eyes just pop out! Yes, please, go to the cinema and feel this scene.

Overall, it's a movie definitely worth watching. Don't loose this chance to freak yourself out in cinema as there wasn't many scary movie can do as good as this one. Warning: not for the faint-hearted. So, watch it at your own risk.

CAST - 3.0 stars
STORY - 3.5 stars
CINEMATOGRAPHY - 4.0 stars
EFFECTS - 4.0 stars
an overall>> 4.0 stars

曾经太年轻

曾经太年轻歌词-白色巨塔
窗外风铃一直不安静
风在摇晃不安的宿命
我聆听
你回忆经过的声音

开始旅行寂寞很清醒
我在靠近过去的边境
有些
恋人只是
路过时的风景

曾经太过年轻却绝对真心
我给的爱始终任性
不懂花开只一次的爱情

曾经太过年轻
泪纯真透明
你的坚定
我仍然还
相信

直到如今你说爱的那封信
我一直都收藏着
折叠用心
让誓言干净

曾经太过年轻
在人海飘零
那些关于我的事情
总有你紧紧跟随的身影

曾经太过年轻
泪纯真透明
你的坚定
我仍然还
相信

这是台湾版《白色巨塔》的片尾曲。
每次这首歌若在剧情里突然出现，一定一下子就是副歌，
就那么一下子把剧情推向高潮。

曾经太年轻。
又多少人能真正了解这五字里的愁怨？
我想我能体会 -- 就在那么多年后的今天，
经历了那么多的事情，
我能体会。

曾经有三段恋情在我的生命中出现。
曾经有三个女生让我深深得爱着。
曾经，我吻过三个女生的唇...

年轻时，总是不懂...什么都不懂。
年轻时，常常可以因为一件小事而吵架。
年轻时，以为可以用死亡的威胁来维持恋情。
年轻时...

那个曾经的年轻太年轻。
少年狂妄...爱一个人就可以不顾一切。
就算生命、未来、自己...都可以不管。
只要爱着、拥有着、跟随着心爱的人，
什么其他的都是不重要了。

年轻，就是那么的曾经年轻过。
生命的定律就是这样子：
它让你拥有年轻时最美好的回忆，
到年轻已成为过去的时候，
那些不能再拥有的过去只能在生命成为一部分...
因为生命毕竟都是回忆的成分...
生命的定义，就是记忆的一切。

我老了。
年轻是多么遥远的一件事，
死亡是多么接近的一回事，
而我站在回忆和死亡之间...

我和死亡之间，似乎没有未来。
而把我摆在这个位置的，就是年轻的回忆 -- 我后悔吗？我不懂。
我想用那些年轻的回忆来释义我的生命。
我的未来...没有了。
我不知道未来是什么东西 -- 因为我能够想象的未来都在我患上这个病后没有了。
只能期待每一天、每一天的死亡慢慢接近。

曾经太年轻。
年轻就可以为朋友、为爱情、为幸福不顾一切地往前冲。
年轻过后，那种狂妄的冲劲不知到哪儿了...
如果我的生命还有人和的一丝丝冲劲，
我只想冲向死亡。

曾经太年轻。
我现在只能每次回味这句话，
慢慢过余生。

17 Again -- another becoming-young movie again

17 Again, just like its poster portrayed, is a show about Zac Efron, aka Mike O'Donnel in the movie. Nothing to expect much from the movie. However, Zac Efron still has his charm that I think still works for most people -- thanks to High School Musical.

It is a story about how a grown-up man being given a second chance to lead his life of a 17-year-old teen once again. Not a fresh idea as I believe there are couple movies with similar theme. But, being repeated is one thing, being interesting is another. The idea of becoming young once again and redo the relationship with people around the character is enjoyable, plus you can watch the charming Zac playing basketball. Overall, story-wise, is concluded as no surprise, because the ending is always the character learns something valuable about life and lives happily ever after.

Well, since the story is not much an attraction, the producer made a wise move by casting Zac in the movie. Zac did work in the movie, not because of his acting skill, but due to his popularity he gained during High School Musical. His skill still needs much improve because he is still having much residue from the character in HSM. Anyway, if you don't mind about that, or you are a fan of him, you will scream in excitement watching him playing his charm, just like much female audiences in the hall when I watched.

It is a teen movie. So, like other movies in this genre, you need cool musics in this movie. However, I didn't get to hear any interesting song when watching it. Musics in teen movie are meant to make those scene more memorable and enjoyable. But, in this movie, the songs are great dissapointment. I think I would advise the composer group to learn much from Gossip Girls, One Tree Hill etc.

It's all I can say for this movie. Since now is the holiday week, it's still a movie of choice for secondary students or younger ones. It is passable for more grown-up people, yet if you wana relive the joy of such kind of becoming-young-again movie, go for it.

CAST - 3.5 stars
STORY - 3.0 stars
CINEMATOGRAPHY - 3.0 stars
EFFECTS - 3.0 stars
an overall>> 3.0 stars

我觉得自己老了之二

我觉得自己老了。
上个blog也是那么说过。
因为觉得老了，所以想到生命所剩无几。
我什么时候会死？
明天？明年？十年后？五十年后？
人，连自己的生命什么时候会结束都不知道，
那么人还能说自己是这个生命的主人吗？
不能。

因为觉得自己老了，
因为觉得自己的生命所剩无几，
所以最近的行事变得很潇洒，也很孤僻。

潇洒的是我一觉醒来，觉得想换副眼镜，
就立刻换衣到Time Square的A Look定做了副整千块的眼镜。
潇洒的是我经过手表店，觉得想换支手表，
就从提款机提了300块，到City Chain买了支周杰伦代言的ellesse牌子手表。

花的不仅不是属于我的钱，
而是JPA无端端还进给我的钱。
我没想太多 -- 大不了把我判个毁约的罪进监牢。
只是有钱就花。
想太多然后才去做自己想做的事，简直就是浪费生命。
不顾后果地去做自己想做的事，就算最后证明错了而坠落，
生命也曾经因为潇洒而像流星那样短暂的灿烂过。

孤僻的是我开始慢慢远离在我生命出现的朋友。
这一次重回家乡，为了就是和中学的挚友见最后的一面。
我的自卑感已到了我能够承受的极点 -- 因为以前的我是那么的自负。
人家都认为我的自卑感是自己造成的，
但我却清清楚楚地了解：是这个社会害的。
人家都是因为他们都是这个社会的一份子，所以都把罪推得一干二净的在我身上。
全世界都认为我现在的下场是我自己找来的，
包括我的自卑，我的难过。

说回我的孤僻。
我想从一个没有过去的人重新出发。
我开始把一个个过去的朋友都忘记...因为他们的成功是我的伤痛。
这或许是自我保护的方法吧...

我开始学会一个人...因为我要重新一个人去接受命运。
我很恨这个世界，但我也了解自己什么都做不了。
在我抱恨而终之前，我要过我从来没有活过的生活...
我了解这是带着伤疤的生活。

生命教会了我一件事：不要轻易的许愿，因为愿望对我来说就是等于不可能。
我还是期盼这样的一个故事：

一个带着成为医生的遗憾的男生，
遇上一个喜欢海洋的女生。
他们的故事，会有交际吗？